I choose you, Eden

In your quest to fulfil every dream, realise every fantasy, there is an almost non existent fault. So faint, so light that for years it goes unnoticed. Unnoticed even to you. Like a cavity maliciously lurking, for years eating away the healthy, the bulging, sturdy constitution of the bleached white substance. Unseen in darkness, unchallenged by the light. Softly holding the flood of tears, seamlessly protecting the outline of a life shining from afar. The fragile thread made into a spider’s web held the unthinkable weight of disappointment like steel enforced concrete. It almost killed your soul, almost made your spirit disappear. The fault lies somewhere outside things you deem real. The crack on the surface escapes your attention. Unnoticed until you break. And you break with a shatter so thunderous it rings to the heavens, hallowing this earthly ground.  

You floated in smirks of content like a raft on the back of lazy ocean waves. At times weightless in the water, mesmerized by the world around you, swirling in the ritual dance with the salty parts of the unstoppable mass. You floated through the words like they had no weight. Unmoved but helplessly following the whimsical pattern, the timely ups and downs. At one moment high, the next so very low. Swish, swinging in the restless water, twirling with the raft the way the currents command. In a carefully constructed moment the tears appear. Unexpected, embalmed with the sun’s powerful rays, still in the windless instant, sadness is crowned princess of the heart. Now you are trapped, held captive by fear of regret stealing the role of prince. The blinding sky is cruel, but you stare into the sun, just to prove, to feel that being blistered is being alive.

Whisper words of comfort. Whisper in your lost ears the very words that have made you set sail. The words that crushed your wings just moments before. These words now guide you to shore, push your raft away from the endless sea, towards the visible shoreline. Carefully you stand, hold onto the pole of hope, let the tears fill the dents in your raft. Your eyes closed, you feel the wind on your cheeks. It is cold, unfriendly, lonely. Still, with unabashed pride you start to believe your lungs hold the secret of your coming home. Your heart navigates, your feet shuffle to find the right direction. In this composition, in this unforgettable end to a magical adventure, you become ready to conquer the fears and the unknown. You let go just barely. Just enough to arrive at something new.  

Maybe you never had the choice, but decided to choose anyway. Love may have been too much to bear, but you cloaked your frail body with the full weight of a love returned. Your lies might not catch up with you, but you will never cure your soul of the pain it caused. In your man-made haven numerous have tripped before you. Everyone you touch dies of thirst, instantly. Only one chose you, you destroyed all others. There is a distinctly visible fault in your ardency to fulfil each dream, to realise each fantasy. Rivers dry in your step, forests disappear in your path, innocent souls are crippled by your actions. If this is your Eden, then I choose to choke.