A better burden

What hold this has on me, has on you. How silently it has arrived and gripped us to never want to leave. The distance dwarfed in a moment, the colours merged to a bright white or a heavy black. The difference was lost on me mostly. You have freed up parts of yourself for me, to kindly wait, to kindly change what time has done to you, to me. I am still bound, slow to move with your pace. We must run, but hurry where? We must stand still, but wait for the day to end? You have shown unthinkable braveness and gently bent down to pick me up, to gather my ghost-like body from the ground. Then we took off together, began a journey we seldom knew was waiting. You have bent with a straight back, I have allowed myself to be lifted, put upright.

We are two sparrows, battered by the winds and rain. We are helpless birds tossing in a storm, strong enough to stay alive, too weak to remember why. Just as I give up, you arrive to hold me. Just as you close your eyes in sweet defeat, I appear to keep you flying if only for a little while. Then you whisper you are tired, bone tired. I see how you have lost the secrets that bettered your heart, that have showed your spirit how to shine. I see the wounds and know the hurt. I feel the tears that never leave your bright blue eyes. I know the hurt that leaves your body in unseemly instances, when it is still, when it is finally dark. I feel the pain that you hide and share. I hold you to ease the memory of the long and treacherous day. I hold you for the new, for the old to come and sooth not wound. I hold you and wait in endless patience for the heal to come. Suddenly, with much waiting, the way forward is shown.

These are my scars, the bruises of my soul. I have parts you know, some you will never see. There are things that you already feel and I may never discover. The secrets I have kept for so long are slowly in the daylight, uncovered and bare. My frail body and unfinished soul wait for your every word. Wait the touch of your kind words in the daylight, wait for the gentle caresses of your soul at night. Your own saving has to be put on hold until you save me. I arrive as a wet bird at your doorstep, barely able to make a sound. With the biggest heart I have ever seen you take me, dry my unsure eyes, bandage my fragile wings, kiss my broken beak to safety, to health. I am much work, I am much time taken, I am in need of much care. The sunrise helps, reminds me I am alive, shows you the joy in mending for an instant. Mending for someone else. While you tell me of your troubles to calm my worried soul, I feel that I must grow stronger, heal quicker for you. This flight we must take together and soon. Forgive me if I am unsure, take no notice if I am sure too quickly. I am drawn to your sadness and your strength, I may never be able to let go. All this I am forcing you to take on, forcing you to bring the numb back to life. I worry in the day, I worry at night that it may be too much. But I hum and hope that you can lay your head beside my better burden until the heal has come.