Every king in every kingdom

There are no reasons to the events that have swept through. Sadly, there are no rational reasons, no acceptable explanations. The irk that throbs impatiently in the palpitated heart cannot be calmed or silenced with words that leave the mouth. Useless desires and blindly aimed spearheads line the way but there is nothing and no-one to offer explanation. The anger turns to sadness over time. Silent, almost unapproaching, surley unbecoming. It crushes the soul and second by second crushes the dreams. We sit wrapped in desolate stillness. The hand that you grip is just a memory, a lifelike imitation of the one that held you back. The water reflects our faces, barely moved by the gale force winds. Words have not left our mouths for minutes if not hours. In this union we wait for time to pass, slowly. At least we are alive.

The road was unkind, the sun unmercifully glowing. We took the summer days with ease, carelessly for granted. Hiding behind the magnificent light was the uncertain, the great darkness. We harnessed the nectars from the fields in bloom, we danced on the clouds that could hold us high. The secrets held themselves open: we could see them visible, we could forget that they were ever secrets. Under our feet the earth became velvet moss, softly holding our steps. Without ever a question, we leaped. The webs of spiders caught our flight, the cliffs moved closer to lessen our fall. Sometimes you laughed louder, sometimes I. The colours pleased our eyes, the wind carried us by our arms outstretched. This was how you and I lived in perfect movement, in unabashed stillness from an old day to the new.  

In my mind nothing has changed. You still sleep under ageless trees, I still wish for wings unseen. But it is a new morning. You leave and return to someone else’s arms, I pretend to busy myself to stay alive. Each night the stars appear, but they are less bright. Each morning the warmness of the sun subsides, a little less happy to find you parted and I gone. In silence we sit, just until I muster the strength, order my muscles to move. They are like a heavy steam train with no steam to begin the charge forward. They are like set concrete fixing one part to the other. My hand slips from yours, barely noticed, barely making a difference. If my eyes would clear of these tears, I would see the rise of this magnificent new dawn.

Here is my spirit free. There is a faint rhythm in my ears, ticking softly in my arms, legs, in my veins and heart. I feared, how weary I became, imagining an incredible abyss were you not by my side. This is my mountain to climb. You no longer need to hold the pieces: I am the master of these winds, I am captain of my soul. I am every king and this, this is my every kingdom. I am here to face this new day rise; I am here to look into the sun and let the new day rise.