I am a broken thing

Through these visible cracks, these holes that cannot keep the warmth, cannot stop the love from leaving, through these openings, vents of my cracked spirit, through these invisible blemishes, I slowly seep. How I slowly seep and quietly disappear. Without much sound I am gone. The birds chirping, the winds moving the lifeless leaves on sleeping trees but I am no longer here. The damp autumn soil cannot hold me, I rest on the cold moss, soft enough to cradle me, hard enough to swallow me whole. My eyes have become vacant, tired of the search, seeking the comfort of the setting sun, the reds and violets never the harsh yellows or burning whites. These eyes are no longer of use to me, they cannot show what is real. They never have. These eyes long to catch a glimpse of those better days left behind and the hope of some better ones to greet me. In all their efforts they will never be able to see what my soul knows already, my spirit tasted momentarily, these useless eyes can never see where my mind has wondered endlessly. This, my little Elysium, is where I am headed. In this borrowed world, in this peaceful end, this unseemly manner by which I choose to leave, there is a place for heaven. Place for a great fire. We will burn the mistakes of yesterday, we will dance to forget those thorns which were placed into our souls. One day it will be clean, all memory erased, all love given for the sake of giving. Then you will know great love, you will fill the emptiness with meaning. In time.

Hurry forward and you will fall, through time, fall through the shallow façade of all you have believed to be true. There is only one king in this kingdom, you must not be fooled by all the crowns that cross your path. My burning soul will not always be enough to guide you, give light in the dark. The worry keeps me from sleep, turns my dark hair to snow-white. The time to tell is shrinking, vastly disappearing whilst my soul still has pages and pages to shout. This, all of this, how are you to know alone? How am I to stop you from getting lost? I have long ceased to warn you for the real threat can only come from within you. I cannot alert you against your own mistakes, against the terrible injustices you inflict on yourself. These I must learn to watch in silence. I can no longer take the fight, I am too weary, I rest my eyes. The soft linen holds me, just the shell, my heart and spirit soar as I sink more deeply into this bed. I only wish to know, but I never will.

I offer my all to you. Take the broken pieces and treasure them. Hide my face from the morning, the sunlight might do great damage. Watch me as I fall, hold my withered hands and whisper that I have shown you enough. That you know. That you are who I wanted you to be and can walk alone. Tell me that you remember, that you will from now know exactly who to be. Tell me that I see in you the spark, that you will keep it safe until the great fire starts. Tell me that you know how to love, that I have taught you to know, to give full heartedly. Tell me you know yourself, that you are sure. Tell me you will forgive. Me and all others, but mostly yourself. Tell me that you never wanted to let go but know that now we must. Tell me that you will hold together your broken spirit with the words I try to sing to you.

Then let me fall.

Then let me fall through the ground.

Then let me fall through the ground, back to you.