In the silence of the heart

This is how it was, touched by a lesser love, I threw the chains my past life posed. Threw them with haste and vengeance. Threw them with great force and depth, away from the imminent hope, towards the long gone darkness. The deafening sound from the abyss crept after me, echoed the braveness, mirrored the bereavement. Here was a life tossed, here was another newly budding. The burden cannot ever be shared, the pain that twisted the spirit can never be lessened, the memories burned into the soul can never be erased. There I saw the reflection of that crippled soul, maimed by the meeting of you. Maimed by the meeting of your soul, destroyed by the clashing of our souls. There in pieces, washed by the salty sea, dried by the unforgiving sun, there in the orbit of this magnificent planet, hovering on earth’s wondrous moon, there in stillness and weightlessness is where the chains from my heart shall remain. Freed of you, alone amongst the stars, circling the future and never seeing clearly the past. This is how your lesser love has crippled me.

Once there were days that outshined all other days. They held more minutes than physically possible. The seconds overflowed and the hands of your watch would not turn for hours on end. The lake we chose filled overnight, the moon played with its light on the surface, chasing waves to toss tiny ships our way. The trees covered my blushing cheeks, the tall grass hid our childish desires, the carpet of leaves kept our secrets. The very creatures of the fields promised to never laugh at our plans, never grow larger than what we imagined they could. Then you spoke of your dreams and I took those words to be set in stone, the words of my future, the pictures of your dreams would be my future. Then I spoke of the places we would see, the places that would change us to become strangers to only meet again as young lovers do. Those were our moments and we collided like comets rarely do. From the trap of the heart there seemed no way to escape. We whisked each other away, cast a spell on our souls.

I cannot describe the time to you. I cannot describe the time that I have lost, that I have given to you. I have willingly offered, you have scrutinised then taken happily, unknowingly. Your words became some else’s future, your promises whispered to someone else’s soul. My words rang dead in the echo of your greatness. They were left at the floor of the valley between your heart and mine. The minutes on your watch raced forwards, the hours of my paralysed soul got trapped in a motionless halfway house. Feeding off of the crumbs, the pieces you threw so carelessly towards the unsuspecting ether. You were there and I was unable to move. We crashed, you made it out with a scratch. I fell hard and broke most bones. The bruises healed slowly, the scars will forever remain. The heart is meeker and weak, unable to fully allow anyone else to ever see its real beauty. That is still being saved for you. For someone like you. I find my heart silent, I fend its return to its former glory. I used to hear your beating heart through the words and clatter. I wait that maybe one day in the silence of my heart, you will speak.