a return to previous misgivings

There are moments that outlast all other moments. Instances that burn. There are words regretfully let loose, deeds unchangeable. There is sincere remorse and masked apology. There is revenge, hatred, an unending suffering caused out of carelessness. There is a limit to the cruelty with which we treat each other. There is the limit of time. Amidst the dark there is at times, light.

It is hardest to be visible, bare and unmasked. It is hardest to say the words and not write them. Yet the journey is ending and another bound to begin shortly. I have used you. Used you and your time alike. Much like a rambunctious child, I have needed your attention to sooth the worries and doubts, the aches of enduring the never apparent success. Faithful and loyal companion, you have done great service. Your sacrifice will not go unnoticed or unmentioned. Thank you.

In turn lean your weight, any time, lean so I can hold your worried soul. I would do that and much more. Like a stone firmly locked in sand, constantly ground to the bone, I am washed over and away, but steadily withstanding. Enduring web of interlocking crystals, ready to hold your lean body forever. In time, in history we will always remain. Stay a print between heavy armoured skeletons, pressing layers of endless rocks.

I will now take my words of sorrow and doom and turn them into glittering memories of silver and gold. I wrote as well as I could. I will continue but plan not to insist your assistance, I will not take your time or hope. If you wonder what previous writings were about, know this: I have not gained or lost love. I have not hurt or been hurt. I have not lost my way but stay constantly searching. I have been broken and often mended. I have been cast aside and walked the hellish path back to existence. I have experienced kindness and cruelness. I have given but taken far more. I overstayed my welcome and have given up on hope. I have not seen or done anything different to you. I have lived.