My love, the sea

There is a knot in my stomach. The words you say, the luminous way you enter and leave, the magical nonchalance with which you speak to me leaves me in despair. Wanting more, wishing for less. I hang on until I can bear. Could you continue until the night descends? Just until I am carried to peaceful sleep. Then stay. Stay to see the morning light.

I was drawn to you with such visceral force that left me unable to competently reason. Falling on soft autumn grass. You warned me and in turn I warned myself. The streets were empty, there was not a soul to bear witness to our beginning. A coincidence maybe, a planned meeting, the un-provable, the mesmerizing sky that hung unbelievably low that night. You offered to guide me. Blindfolded I jumped after you. Here is what we call the human heart. It beats relentlessly for years before one day it decides to stop. It has the capacity to pump blood and circulate it around the body. There are attributes the heart has which are hard to explain. It beats more per minute than you could imagine. It is a machine that requires no battery. Sometimes the heart learns to transcend the metaphysical realm and freely lets go. Never have I heard such a sweet voice, such seductive words. I did not know how to let go, did not how to control my heart. I wanted to rip it out of my chest and hand it to you, still warm, still beating. Then I felt a sharp pain and in all my flaws, I was see-through, I was yours.

The soul can seldom be tricked, yours never bowed to me. Time beat on mercilessly and slowly its pendulum swayed away from our unbreakable two. You were always wondrous, elusive, with an air of righteousness about you. I watched in amazement, likened myself to a chosen, a special stranger hanging by a moment with you. But then I was special no more and you were suddenly gone. Disappeared into the moment. I could no longer follow.

Now there is a knot in my stomach. I see you in the faces of strangers I have never seen before. Believe I see you walking far off in the distance, a faint wink, a blurry outline of a man that could be you. Could have been you. I see you in clear skies, in unending seas. I hear your love calling with each beat my heart beats. Then it whispers and grows silent. You no longer call, I have long ceased to heed.

If these nights cooling suit you, reverse your abrupt leave and wait for the morning light with me. If these nights suit you. Just until I am carried to sleep.