90 days passed and 9 more to go

If the changes that surround us become obstacles in the way we live our lives, then our lives need adapting so that the changes are met with more ferocity and less hostility. Power to the powerless and courage to those who fight change like a deadly enemy. Some need to be bold, some need to give up, some need to find solace in remorse. Because change will not disappear, only follow time on the looping path of life. Lies. Sacred cycles that never break the rhythm that nature set as a course to forever follow a pattern. Autumn’s set foot. Mornings are breezy, nights are cooled by the nonchalant Moon’s stare. The days are stuffed with the last powers of the sun’s rays. Just enough to boil the asphalt, melt the tarmac that holds the tram tracks, cause havoc on the sidewalks and burn the green leaves of innocent plants. Just enough to breathe life into those who need the warmth and just enough to destruct everything that wishes to hide from the cruelty of the rising Celsius. Fight as long as you have the will to keep fighting.

My voice went silent. I lost it or cared not to make it heard for reasons that are mine. I stayed enchanted by the monumental shifts that life produced. Jumping phases, turning corners that held secrets and new ventures that I could hardly walk alone. But alone I must stay and keep enduring, living, loving and making plans just the way I want. There is stillness and silence in the hurricane that has swept across my life. Misplaced and replaced, memories deleted and made, new habits found, old ones forgotten and died. In the stillness there’s light. In the light there is hope. In hope there is a chance to view the changes in my life as the most gracious gifts that fate could ever bestow upon me. It’s just one of those days.

I look to the future for answers. They hide. I’m shy. With a life that’s reminiscent of progress and maturity, with a soul that’s tangled in words someone’s said out loud, so recklessly. I own a lot, but not time. Time could give me the greatest joy, but before I could have that to myself, I need to be bold, need to jump in the cold water, need to grow older with a boy like you. The answers might not even exist if the questions don’t. This makes me restless and what calms me only is the notion that in just a few days I will hear the sounds of heartache. The sombre voice of a lonely a man. The symphony of strings that tell tales of healing the wounds that life deepens, wrinkles that worry causes, memories that time erases. Of this, I can never get enough. Of his sweet voice I can never get enough. Of my new life I can never get enough. Of the hopeful days gleaming ahead I can never get enough. Of love I can never get enough. Of you, I can never get enough. Still I know, that today is just one of those days, just like any of those days that will pass if I crawl underneath my blanket.