Somewhere between the dark days and their equally frightening light sisters, I stand numb and unable to move because my dream rushes past me. My soul shrinks to the size of a pea and is tied to the fastest car that whizzes by; it’s already ripped from me. I watch as they dance and sing on the other side: I feel invisible, I feel ignored. In my perfect isolation I crouch and find solace on a steady rock. Unable to cross, unwilling to look away, I stay at arm’s length from where I want to be. Forever.
I wish I could unzip a different person from underneath the skin coat I wear. A more vibrant, a more determined, a more powerful person. Someone who caught the moment and hung onto it. Transported to another time but staying true to ideals, I would join those who dance and sing on the other side. I would have courage and strength to walk into the room with all the words I’ve recorded on paper. I would staple my pages onto my skin and parade around so everyone would admire. And they would welcome the me who was brave and talented, unafraid of ambitions and free of inhibitions.
In the middle of the place I would stretch out my arms and spin ‘till I collapsed dizzy and happy. Faster and faster, unable to pay attention to anything around me. Nothing would embarrass me and I would share my all with those who smilingly welcomed every ill formed idea, every ill formed page. There I would find myself. Completely comfortable, I would nurture my budding dream. Then my every wish would be answered.
Only then would I no longer wish that I could.
Till then, each and every night, I wish that I really could.
No comments:
Post a Comment