*24*

I doubt I’ll ever have it all. I see the days as struggles that only seldom end in glories. I will forever search for perfection, when that doesn’t even exist. I will for moments come close to it. I will feel the burning rush of the vicinity of perfection, but I will never brush shoulders with it. I doubt I’ll have the determination to fight for the dreams I have. I’m young and complacent and will sooner than imagined find myself in a complete monotony. I will never be satisfied and I will forever fear the light for it may paralyse me. I will feel rage when there’s not enough love. I will demand respect and acceptance but will turn corners to find concrete walls where my only task will be to walk through them. The frustration will lead me to run and scream. On every plane of my life I will lock away the desires and turn them into secret gems. I’m frightened that I will be running in circles. I doubt I’ll ever have it all and defeatism doesn’t even start to cover it. So why am I crying? Because I’m so alone. It will take me a long time to find the one who’s home.