If it was not for you, I would keep my heart cold,
chilled, to save it from the fear of the inevitable, unstoppable thawing. I would
bandage the heart and hide it, muffle its strong beating, hush its desire to be
seen. Then I would use words to trick it into believing its time has not come
yet. That red was not the colour it looked best in. Cool and slow, blue from
the frozen stillness is how its beauty best manifested. Our chats would be
murmurs, between my heart and me.
If it was not for your pure spirit, I would still wage
wars with the world. I would keep my sword drawn and ready all my muscles to
fight evil should it appear. I would seek allies in forests and mountains. I
would convince trees and four legged friends to join my venture to purge the
world of men and beasts who bow to dishonesty. Then with thunderous force my
allies and I would appear at dawn, from the misty beginnings of the morning,
from amidst dense forests, deep seas, heavy overcast skies, we would shout,
sing, clap, we would preach and dance through each day to find the thread of
evil. To attempt to nip, pluck, stem the thought from growing roots in every
man, every child, every aged soul that whimpers “I am on fire”.
If it was not for your beautiful heart I would believe that
barren lands can never heal, can never grow green again. I would sit on
boulders great enough to never be moved and gaze at the dust scattered below my
feet. I would converse with the colour grey, try to understand where it was
coming from and how long it planned to stay. The footprints would
stay for days, I never wanted to quarrel, to ask why they cannot be covered
with velvet grass. Only in my mind would the streams and flowers of a thousand colours
come back. In dreams that were never dreamt, in eyes that lost all colour,
succumbed to a life in black and white. Life wounded, unmoved would stay still,
barely able to smile at a shooting star, barely able to wave to a curious
child. Then the nothing before my eyes would start to turn into something.
If it was not for your endless hope, I would have disappeared
from sight. Little by little I would have taken my steps towards the walls that
consumed. Eyes unclear from tears, I would have closed the doors. One after the
other. I would have shut my ears and never heard the melody of your voice
softly calling “by my side, walk with me”.
I don’t have many and I don’t have much, but if it wasn’t
for you, I would not have anything at all.
